


frequencies

by withoutwords



Series: Ballum Tumblr Fics [8]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Deaf Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27875905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutwords/pseuds/withoutwords
Summary: Callum’s patience is wearing thin, an itch just below his skin that he can’t reach. As much as he smiles, and as hard as he tries, and as often as he tells himself they’re going to work things out - the hole they’re in seems to get deeper, darker.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Ballum Tumblr Fics [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040865
Kudos: 29





	frequencies

Callum’s patience is wearing thin, an itch just below his skin that he can’t reach. As much as he smiles, and as hard as he tries, and as often as he tells himself they’re going to work things out - the hole they’re in seems to get deeper, darker.

Ben says, all I need is you, but Callum’s not enough.

He can’t be.

“One thing at a time,” Jay says, when Callum shows him the stack of papers, and catalogues and flyers he’s managed to collect about cochlear implants, and BSL, and grief.

“It ain’t that simple, Jay!”

“Well of course it ain’t, but shoving these at him won’t help none either!”

Callum deflates. “I just need him to know…” he starts to say, trailing off as he loses his words. That I love him, that I’m here for him, that nothing can come between us if we don’t let it.

“He knows.” Jay’s words sound like written truth. LIke he believes that the same way he knows he loves Lola, and Lexi. Ben and Callum: a certainty.

“I know you’ve known him longer than me - ”

“Yeah, I have, but that ain’t it. I saw him when you were missing. You think he’d trade his hearing for you? No way, mate.”

“Yeah,” Callum starts, but obviously the look on his face is too much for Jay to take. He rounds Callum’s desk to perch himself against it, grasp a hand in Callum’s shoulder. 

“No,” he says firmly, eyes trained right on Callum’s. “You don’t get it. Maybe you never will, ‘cause you weren’t there. He might’ve blamed himself, punished himself, but at the end of the day the only thing he wanted to do was find you. He didn’t eat, or sleep, he barely looked at Lexi. I mean, he pointed a gun at Phil’s head, Callum, c’mon.”

“He what?” Callum gasps, feeling the admission like a punch at his guts, fighting for breath. Ben wouldn’t - he didn’t - he’d let Phil leave without him, but would he let Phil die for Callum?

Was Callum that blind to it?

“Yeah. Phil was gonna kill Keanu and Ben wouldn’t let him, swore he’d shoot him if Keanu was dead before we found you.”

“I had no idea.”

“Course you didn’t. An don’t tell him I told ya neither.”

“No, yeah, I mean.” 

By the time Callum’s pulled himself together, Jay’s shaking his head like the whole thing’s ridiculous. Maybe he is, maybe they are. He just knows he’s lucky to have it. He knows he doesn’t want to lose it.

“You mind if I…?”

Jay groans. “Yes, go, I’ll manage things from here.”

Callum leaves the stacks of papers on his desk and hightails it to the Mitchell house. Ben’s on the couch watching The Office with subtitles, jumping when Callum touches at his shoulder. Callum waves.

“Sorry.”

“You’re home early,” he says, just as Callum leans down to give him a slow, gentle kiss, humming into it. “Mmm, what was that for?”

“I just love ya,” Callum tells him, slowly, clearly, and as much as actions speak more than words, Callum’s okay with just being here and this just being enough.

He’ll meet Ben in the middle when he gets there.


End file.
